Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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