im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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