I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
