Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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