Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
