i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
