I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
