i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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