he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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