Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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