It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
