Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
