I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
