You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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