I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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