I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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