Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
