Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
