So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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