They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize