He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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