so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
