You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
