Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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