I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She announced her abortion via fbk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We have started to decorate penises.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
