I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
