Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
