I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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