I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize