We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
