We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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