we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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