I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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