Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Are my feet made of real feet?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
