How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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