every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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