Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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