Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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