whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
