i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
