i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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