Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
