She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
