he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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