Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
