and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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