What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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