you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
