Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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