In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
