wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
