I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
where am i from again
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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