i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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