No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
