And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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