She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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