Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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