so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sorry about my life...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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