i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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