I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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