Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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